Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
