it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
