Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
