Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
