I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
