We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i used baking grease as lip gloss
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
