You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
