Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
