can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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