if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
