I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
