its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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