I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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