so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize