Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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