Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
