can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
