i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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