Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How external is "for external use only"?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
