he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
