I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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