youre lurking in front of me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
