Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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