yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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