sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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