just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
