Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
