just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
false alarm, still single
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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