Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
