shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
