she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
