I think i peed on brittanys purse
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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