I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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