He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
