Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
