White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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