the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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