went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
