The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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