My room smells like vodka and shame
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
