how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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