Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have post one night stand depression
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