It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
