My brain says no but my pants say off.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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