Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
