She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
