What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
