i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The air was thick with penises
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
