I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
