There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
