Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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