Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
