she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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