Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
