oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
