Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
the raccoons are back...
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