JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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