Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You did what with his pubic hair?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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