In America we eat man semen.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
