so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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