Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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