I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
