what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
