so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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