McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
