so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you made out with another girl for some wings
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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