Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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