covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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