he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
