Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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