i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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