By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
