i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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