Well apparently he's into motor boating.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
