I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
