I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
