it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
