I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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