Yo dont text me then not text me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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