Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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