we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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