After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize