You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
