weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
